it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
