He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
