"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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