loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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