Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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