we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
