I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
