hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
