So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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