he shaved USA in his pubs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
