Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
