two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
