I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
