I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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