just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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