what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
