I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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