Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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