Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
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