Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
