For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We need a shit load of segways right now
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
