Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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