Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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