thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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