ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
