you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
