it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
