Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
