I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
