Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
ttyl tear gas
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
