Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
