You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
