North Korea, Best Korea!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
