using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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