Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
