So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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