So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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