My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
