i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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