youre lurking in front of me
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
