Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
