he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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