chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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