There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
