exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
