he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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