New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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