just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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