I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
