i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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