69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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