East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
