so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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