she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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