A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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