I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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