I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
