You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
