question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
