It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
