I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She's the barista slut.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
