billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
