if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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